Sometimes memory seems so mysterious and baffling. The other day, suddenly and seemingly quite randomly, I felt washed over by a “Maverick” wave of shame. Maverick waves I learned, in the surfing vernacular, are monster or super waves: unpredictable, suddenly appearing and potentially “extremely dangerous.” Yes, admittedly that sounds dramatic, but it felt like that. I […]
Neglect to Remember: Proust, Bushes, Healthy Aging Read More »
In the early years of the Millennium, it seemed as if the world was suddenly haunted by a dreaded and insidious enemy. It kind of reminded me of the opening lines of Marx’s Communist Manifesto, which I read with great ardor in my first months of college in 1973: “A spectre is haunting Europe…” It resounded
Neglect Informed Sex Therapy: Evil? “Solutions”, Health Read More »
For some time I’ve been meaning to write a blog about the “Dilemma Without Solution” which is a centerpiece of my work. I consider it the heart and soul of neglect trauma. The woman who first identified and named the dilemma, Mary Main, is one of my greatest heroes. I hesitate to call her a
Me, Myself and I: Roots, One Person, One Hand Clapping Read More »
Please receive my sincerest apology and regret for being late with the blog! It is an essential neglect issue and certainly a value and intention of mine to be reliable and consistent. I am so sorry I failed at that this week! It is Black History Month here in the US, and I have been
A Folding Chair: Chains, Peace, Leaves: Read More »
As the US winds up for another presidential election, I find myself feeling exhausted and barraged by a seemingly elaborate industry of strategy and tactics, already. Even while the actual race is not for another almost nine months. It is hard to escape the unceasing updates and commentaries: it all reminds me of a sophisticated,
Hope: Don’t Mope! Abandonment, Drive Read More »
I remember when the alcoholism field was budding and there was a bumper crop of pop literature about alcoholic families, a buzzword du jour was “denial.” Of course, this was long before social media made everything viral in a hot minute, and we didn’t even use the now everyday term “viral”, so I don’t know
A River In Egypt: Love, Blindness, Trauma and Neglect Read More »
Recently I had occasion to walk through the neighboring SF Mission District. For whatever reason, the mystery of memory, I found myself remembering a distant past I had not thought about in ages. It was 1984, I was one year clean and sober. Back then the Mission was a Mexican/Latin American ghetto. Carlos Santana went
“Tengo:” About Gratitude: Alcoholics, Symptoms, Going Forward Read More »
Perhaps the most inelegant step in the cheesemaking process is washing the eight-gallon (30-litre) pot. For those of you who haven’t seen me, I could probably bathe in it. Washing up is by no means the last step in cheese production, as afterwards comes the many months-long ageing periods, which much like trauma therapy seems
Silent World of Sex: Mystery, Shame, Neglect Read More »
This week’s blog is in memory of Barry Sterman, neurofeedback luminary, who sadly died on New Year’s Eve. Admittedly I am not too much of a movie person. I always say I am way too stingy with my reading time to cut into wanting to watch movies. Somehow my husband talked me into watching the
Litter Mates: Sister Song, What’s Fair, Memories Read More »
When I was a sophomore in college, now it was almost half a century ago! Wow! I had a room-mate named Gayle. She just happened to come to mind today. We were out for a drive as vacation was wrapping up. Gayle and I had known each other since childhood, our mothers were best friends
Good Grief: Pink, Mourning, Morning Read More »